First time I've pampered myself in a while and thought of myself. Its funny how trying to think of yourself brings you to thinking of nothing but others. Im actually a very fond believer in give what you get. If I feel like I'm giving more than I'm getting Ill start to back off or feel pretty lame once I really think about it but lets be real here... who wouldn't? I tend to over analyze a lot in my life which is ultimately a terrible downfall that I hope one day someone could love me for. Maybe they already do love me for it but I'm too damn neurotic to see this?
I've been home for about a week now from visiting my better half in Ohio. He's on a probationary time for work since its a new job that he seems to enjoy very much. What does this mean for me? Well I'm glad you asked. It means I better get used to 8 hour road trips because I'll be the one mainly making these trips now to see him. It means emailing and telephone is our main source of communication and it means feeling essentially lonely the days and times when all I want to do is see him BUT however I cant so second best would be talking to him and well I cant always get what I want can I. So this week I haven't been MAD about not talking to him barely at all hardly what so ever I've been lonely. Feeling a bit in the dark although I know he's not going anywhere. I mean honestly though coming from someone who has been left in the dark 90% of the time when I decide to care about someone in general(family friends relationships etc etc)... Its only natural I'd feel a bit alone. I am however only human.
I need a cigarette.
this song makes me feel better.... or worse... or something! Its Who Knows by Local Natives.
Your welcome.
xo Gina
p.s. ill stop feeling sorry for myself tomorrow.
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